A Little Nomad's Traveling Diary

I am not a writer. I am just the person who is addicted to travels and has passion for capturing every single piece of traveling memories in words

[journey to M’sia (soon)] I sort of regret

(Source: Deviantart)

(Source: Deviantart)

As stated in many previous posts, I signed the agreement to do an internship with AIESEC UPM (Malaysia). LC Sending is certainly AIESEC FTU HN (Vietnam). FTU HN is my university (Foreign Trade University Hanoi) by the way. I was overjoyed to have been chosen to be one of not many students doing internship with AIESEC every year, since AIESEC is an international internship platform for the students; that this organization is present in more than 100 countries and that it’s never easy to be its EP (Exchange Participant). Regardless of the fee every EP has to pay which is about 250 USD $ in total (that I have partially submitted so far: I have paid 150 USD $), AIESEC FTU HN possesses its own reputation for being a great stepping stone for students who crave abroad experience  (doing volunteer, working, doing internship,…). I used to think so and still managed to think so. Nevertheless, I simply can’t help with it.

(Source: Deviantart)

(Source: Deviantart)

After having been approved as a EP of AIESEC FTU HN, I was encouraged to send out a lot of applications to a plentiful pool of projects of other AIESEC branches in the world (To Vietnamese EP, it’s advised to apply for which projects in SE Asia, East Asia, and some countries of East Europe. The other parts? You can but hardly get successful). One of my application packages was dedicated to be sent to a project of AIESEC UPM (Malaysia) which is working as an intern at AiC Exhibitions Shd (Petaling Jaya). I went through an interview with Kevin, the manager in charge of AiC then got accepted to do as a project assistant at his company. As a part of progress, I sent EPAN (Exchange Participant Acceptance Note) to AIESEC UPM at the middle of November and sent the documents they need from me at the very beginning of December and thought that it would be long enough for me to prepare everything in two months so I booked my flight which is due to take off on the 8th Feb, 2014. Ray (a member of AIESEC UPM) asked me to prepare some documents that I sent him all in December. But he FORGOT to tell me that I need to buy insurance as a compulsory document of processing a visa. As I have never got prepared for it that cost a lot of money (ok, it’s good for myself, it protects no one but myself. But what I am trying to say here is that he has never said that I had to get it at hand), I was embarrassed then frustrated (Money stuff always drives us mad by the way). I attempted to find information about types of insurance that companies offer, I did think that I would buy it.

(Source: Deviantart)

(Source: Deviantart)

At the start of January, they asked me to send scanned insurance certification but how could I send when I don’t have it yet? Then, after I went to Embassy of Malaysia and could not apply for a visa, I reported it to them and got a feedback, something sort of “You can not apply for a visa there. We would help you to do it here then send a calling visa for you to go to Embassy of  Malaysia in your country to collect PVP and fly over here”. Why did not they tell me when I consistently said that I would go to the embassy pretty soon? Why?

It was in that moment when I desperately wanna give up. I have two choices to consider that are:

1. Change my flight. Let’s say, I should not change the flight detail since it costs about 254 USD$ as I consulted some websites whereas my flight ticket is 162 USD $ only. I would buy another one to save money (which is not at all “save money”). In that case, I would have to pay for another flight ticket + visa fee + mailing cost +insurance

2. Keep my flight ticket and:

+ Continue on the project: Then, I would be penalized for doing PVP inside Malaysia (they require people to be outside the country when applying for a PVP) which costs more than an one way ticket from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur + still visa fee + still mailing cost + still insurance

+Give up on what I have longed for a while: Then I would be released from what I have been suffering these days that make me annoyed and wanna cry out loud to get rid of them. I would fly to Malaysia anyways since my flight is already in hand. I would start my gap year, traveling around SE Asia (where I don’t need a visa for staying less than 30 days, and where the living cost is not much a thing I should worry about). I picture myself crossing the frontiers, talking with the locals, doing something fun and interesting and writing about what I dream of as a kind of travel journals.

I posted in the local page of Kuala Lumpur in Couchsurfing that I need a host and that I wanna do a road trip or whatever interesting things such as volunteer work while I am there. I got some message back and found them all hospitable and welcoming to me.

I think I opt for the last one, but…

(Source: Deviantart)

(Source: Deviantart)

I still keep the hope of being able to change projects. Since my EP buddy who is in charge of taking care of me and who is AIESEC member said that I could if AIESEC UPM could approve it and that it would be part of their fault when not acknowledging me of all I need to know and prepare. But when I emailed AIESEC UPM to be consulted about this problem, he said that I probably could not, even could not cancel this project. So, I have to go anyways?

It drives me nuts, I did want to go, but not with those people who are not at all friendly and helpful. As I signed the agreement already, I may have to pay for sort of financial penalty, even though it was not my fault that leads to this situation. I could avoid that by doing as what they asked me to (with all the financial strings). But, why should I keep going when they treat me this way?

Even though I will probably have to pay something to give up, I would give up anyways. To free myself from the source of frustrate that prevents me from writing these days. I do regret now, regret that I spent two months staying at home, turning down job offers since all of them require me to work for at least 6 months whereas I am expected to go to Malaysia in Feb, 2014. I regret that I trust in them, did trust in them, and now this…

(Source: Deviantart)

(Source: Deviantart)

The career decisions that you make donʼt have to be forever. If you really want to work for a non-profit, travel around as a cook on a cruise ship or try your hand at online business, go for it. You donʼt need to follow the conventional life plan even if your parents are pressuring you to. Colleges will still be there in ten and 20 years should you decide to go back. What wonʼt be there in 10 years are the 10 years you wasted living somebody elseʼs dream. Whatever it is, if God has placed a passion in you for something, I promise your life will not be ruined by spending time on it.
(Michael Greig)

I have been depressed these days because of it. But I know I should look at the bright side of problem. It’s just I can’t….


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This entry was posted on Tháng Một 12, 2014 by in English and tagged , , , , .

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